It’s everywhere…you can’t pick up the newspaper or turn on the radio without being bombarded with news about H1N1. Even the internet is swimming with information about this nasty virus, which seems to be hitting young people particularly hard. Although this form of flu has already sickened thousands and killed close to one hundred people across the country, people are very suspicious of the H1N1 vaccine. I can understand people’s confusion – there is a lot of conflicting information out there.
I just finished reading a fantastic discussion called “H1N1 Myth Busters” on The Globe and Mail site (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/h1n1-swine-flu/h1n1-myth-busters/article1340101/), where readers posed questions to Dr. Michael Gardam of the Ontario Agency of Health Protection and Promotion. He states that all credible data support the safety of the H1N1 vaccine. The only difference from the regular flu vaccine is the adjuvant, which helps your immune system give a better response. This adjuvant has been used by millions of people around the world. Dr. Gardam explains that the adjuvant is made of two natural fats: vitamin E and squalene, which is a compound that we produce in our bodies. So, it doesn’t seem like a big risk to me. One other aspect of vaccines that makes people nervous is the use of the preservative thimerosol. Some groups claim that thimerosol has been linked to autism – a claim that has never been upheld with prudent scientific process. Thimerosol contains a very small amount of mercury. Dr. Gardam reports that there is more mercury in a can of tuna than in a typical vaccine.
It’s a personal decision, but it seems like a no-brainer to me. The risk of taking the H1N1 vaccine for the average person is small compared to the risk of the virus itself. But we’ve got a dilemma to consider that some families don’t have to worry about. Since Ryan is allergic to eggs he has never had a flu shot before, as they are often cultured in eggs. So, we have to decide if it will be more dangerous to give Ryan the flu shot or leave him unprotected against this flu that may hit his asthmatic lungs very hard.
The way I see it, we’ve got one option - to take Ryan to a vaccine clinic for high risk individuals and ask if they can do a skin challenge before we give him the needle. I hope they won’t think I’m one of those crazy, pushy moms. I promise to be nice…
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Mad Rush
Twenty years from now, I hope my children won’t remember what I was like between 8 and 9 a.m. This is the hour of the day when I morph into the maniac that is hell-bent on getting them ready for school – and getting them to school on time.
I’m in my fifth year of this mad rush – and we’re getting marginally better at it. I seem to be yelling a tiny bit less and we haven’t been late this year…yet. We put in an awful two years to get to this point, though. One morning in particular comes to mind. I had already put out Rebecca and Ryan’s clothes for the day, and Sarah was still asleep. I told the kids to get dressed while I ran upstairs for a shower. After twenty minutes I came downstairs to find that instead of getting dressed, the kids had gone into the basement and opened up a box of holiday stuff. This was apparent to me because Ryan was running around the house in his underwear and a pair of antennae-like shamrocks on his head. You know the kind…they’re attached to a head-band by springs and they bounce when you move around. I completely lost it, though it seems funny now. I can still remember how he looked when he saw me – he stopped running and was standing statue-still – except for the shamrocks bouncing up and down over his head.
To make matters worse, I was nagging at the kids so loudly that I didn’t hear a knock at the front door. As I was turning to give one of the kids the ‘hairy eyeball’ my gaze, instead, met the eyes of my neighbour, Sean. I think I might even have been pointing at him, too. I know…it was shameful to be giving threatening looks to my kids, and possibly even more embarrassing to get caught by another adult. It took me a few days before I could look Sean in the eye again.
According to my favourite parenting guru, Barbara Coloroso, nagging doesn’t work. Instead, I should let the kids feel the effects of the natural consequence of being late for school. I wonder what the principal does to kids that are consistently late. I’m sure he wouldn’t yell…and he’s probably above giving dirty looks, too. (Although I’m secretly curious how he gets his own kids to school on time.) Maybe someday I'll let him handle this little problem. But, that will have to wait until the day that I stop caring what everyone would think of ME if my kids are late for school…
I’m in my fifth year of this mad rush – and we’re getting marginally better at it. I seem to be yelling a tiny bit less and we haven’t been late this year…yet. We put in an awful two years to get to this point, though. One morning in particular comes to mind. I had already put out Rebecca and Ryan’s clothes for the day, and Sarah was still asleep. I told the kids to get dressed while I ran upstairs for a shower. After twenty minutes I came downstairs to find that instead of getting dressed, the kids had gone into the basement and opened up a box of holiday stuff. This was apparent to me because Ryan was running around the house in his underwear and a pair of antennae-like shamrocks on his head. You know the kind…they’re attached to a head-band by springs and they bounce when you move around. I completely lost it, though it seems funny now. I can still remember how he looked when he saw me – he stopped running and was standing statue-still – except for the shamrocks bouncing up and down over his head.
To make matters worse, I was nagging at the kids so loudly that I didn’t hear a knock at the front door. As I was turning to give one of the kids the ‘hairy eyeball’ my gaze, instead, met the eyes of my neighbour, Sean. I think I might even have been pointing at him, too. I know…it was shameful to be giving threatening looks to my kids, and possibly even more embarrassing to get caught by another adult. It took me a few days before I could look Sean in the eye again.
According to my favourite parenting guru, Barbara Coloroso, nagging doesn’t work. Instead, I should let the kids feel the effects of the natural consequence of being late for school. I wonder what the principal does to kids that are consistently late. I’m sure he wouldn’t yell…and he’s probably above giving dirty looks, too. (Although I’m secretly curious how he gets his own kids to school on time.) Maybe someday I'll let him handle this little problem. But, that will have to wait until the day that I stop caring what everyone would think of ME if my kids are late for school…
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Mother's Guilt
Every mother I know feels guilt at one time or another. We feel guilty for leaving our kids in other people’s care…even when going to work is not a choice, but a necessity. We feel guilty for not breastfeeding our babies…even if we tried everything we possibly could but that baby would just not latch on. We also feel guilty when our kids are sick…even if we did everything we could to keep them healthy.
At one time I felt extremely guilty about Ryan’s allergies – that I had somehow caused him to be allergic to our world. Was it because I was eating too many additives? Or maybe because we used the wrong kind of paint when we redecorated our kitchen? Should I have quit working night shifts when I was pregnant with him? Is he allergic to milk because the only food I craved was chocolate? Is he allergic to peanuts because I didn’t eat any peanuts throughout the pregnancy? If the allergies are my fault, then it’s also my fault that he suffered so much with eczema when he was a baby. And it will be my fault if he has a bad reaction…and it will be my fault if that reaction rips him away from us.
This is the guilt that held us back from trying for a third child. We were lucky to have one healthy girl…and we were finally getting a handle on all of Ryan’s medical concerns. At the beginning of our marriage we had dreamed of having three children, but I couldn’t imagine dealing with infantile eczema again – watching another baby suffer the way that Ryan did. So, we were gently closing the door on baby number three when fate stuck its foot in the door.
Rebecca was five, and just about to start Senior Kindergarten, when my husband accepted a job at a new company. We had six weeks to sell our house, buy a new one, and move to a town over three hours away where we had no friends and family. It was a stressful time…but we did it. And to add to the stress, a few weeks later we were surprised to find that I was pregnant.
After Sarah was born, I was paranoid that she would develop allergies. I was sure that every spot that formed on her skin would turn into eczema. I convinced myself that every runny poop meant that she would become allergic to milk. I was bracing myself for the guilt I would feel for having a second allergic child.
Sarah is now two years old and I’ve stopped obsessively looking for signs because she’s not allergic to anything yet. I am so grateful that Sarah came to us…not only because she’s a great kid…but because she lifted some of the guilt from my shoulders.
At one time I felt extremely guilty about Ryan’s allergies – that I had somehow caused him to be allergic to our world. Was it because I was eating too many additives? Or maybe because we used the wrong kind of paint when we redecorated our kitchen? Should I have quit working night shifts when I was pregnant with him? Is he allergic to milk because the only food I craved was chocolate? Is he allergic to peanuts because I didn’t eat any peanuts throughout the pregnancy? If the allergies are my fault, then it’s also my fault that he suffered so much with eczema when he was a baby. And it will be my fault if he has a bad reaction…and it will be my fault if that reaction rips him away from us.
This is the guilt that held us back from trying for a third child. We were lucky to have one healthy girl…and we were finally getting a handle on all of Ryan’s medical concerns. At the beginning of our marriage we had dreamed of having three children, but I couldn’t imagine dealing with infantile eczema again – watching another baby suffer the way that Ryan did. So, we were gently closing the door on baby number three when fate stuck its foot in the door.
Rebecca was five, and just about to start Senior Kindergarten, when my husband accepted a job at a new company. We had six weeks to sell our house, buy a new one, and move to a town over three hours away where we had no friends and family. It was a stressful time…but we did it. And to add to the stress, a few weeks later we were surprised to find that I was pregnant.
After Sarah was born, I was paranoid that she would develop allergies. I was sure that every spot that formed on her skin would turn into eczema. I convinced myself that every runny poop meant that she would become allergic to milk. I was bracing myself for the guilt I would feel for having a second allergic child.
Sarah is now two years old and I’ve stopped obsessively looking for signs because she’s not allergic to anything yet. I am so grateful that Sarah came to us…not only because she’s a great kid…but because she lifted some of the guilt from my shoulders.
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